Today's Sermon

 

"Growing Up: Do Unto Others Series 3"

 

Ephesians 4:1-6- I, therefore, the prisoner in the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope of your calling, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Parent of all, who is above all and through all and in all.

Scottish theologian William Barclay once wrote about a group of soldiers during World War II who had lost a friend in battle and wanted to give their fallen comrade a decent burial. They found a church with a graveyard behind it, surrounded by a white fence, and asked the parish priest if their friend could be buried there.

“Was he Catholic?” the priest inquired.

No, he wasn’t, answered the soldiers.

“I’m sorry, then,” said the priest. “Our graveyard is reserved only for baptized members of the Roman Catholic Church. But you can bury your friend outside the fence. I will see that the gravesite is cared for.”

“Thank you, Father,” said the soldiers, and they proceeded to bury their friend just outside the graveyard on the other side of the fence.

There is so much in our world that divides us.  In this story, the division is Catholic vs. non-Catholic.  In our country right now, the biggest division certainly seems to be Democrat/Republican.  In the time that this letter to the Ephesians was written, the divide was Jew/Gentile. This letter was likely written about 30 years after Jesus’ death, and in the community of people who were beginning to follow Jesus, there were two very distinct groups.  People who had been raised Jewish and people who had not been raised Jewish.  One would think – well, they are all following Jesus now, certainly they can get along.  But, no. They had all kinds of disagreements, from circumcision, to what one could eat, to cleanliness rituals.  You name it, the Jews and Gentiles likely disagreed about it.  Division and divisiveness is not new to the human condition.

It is because of the extreme divisions in our nation today that we chose our current worship series, called “Do Unto Others.” For five weeks, we are focusing on being in relationship with one another.  Especially on being in relationship with those who are different from us and those with whom we disagree.  Even the logo for this series is a nod to the divisions in our country.  See how the heart is red and blue at the top, becoming purple in the middle?  But do you also note that the purple space is the largest?  The creator of this logo and this worship series, Dr. Marcia McPhee, explains, “The Golden Rule in scripture (Do unto others as you would have them do unto you) challenges us to engage in conversation and seek to create whatever common good we can with those who we might consider to be on the ‘other side.’ The ‘purple space’ is where we cultivate kindness, compassion, humility, respect, and love for one another and for the good of all the world, no matter what.”  So as we dig into this letter, written to a specific community in Ephesus so many years ago, let us consider how its wisdom may apply to each one of us today.

The writer of this letter - who I am going to call Paul, though some scholars think it may have been written by a student of Paul - realizes that the people can’t go on so deeply divided.  Not only are the divisions terrible for their community, but the divisions are directly opposed to God’s call for their lives.  Paul writes, “I beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called.”  And what does that call look like?  It looks like leading a life with “all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

That sounds wonderful, but is no small task!  It is also not to be ignored.  Paul is clear that this isn’t something to get around to when everything else is checked off the to-do list.  We are called by God to behave in this way.  We are called by God to be this type of community.  Living without these values is to go directly against God’s call to each of us.

I want to read a little more of the quote from your bulletin cover by Episcopal Bishop Porter Taylor. The phrase “bearing with one another in love” specifically stands out for him and he writes, “To bear with one another is to sacrifice for the other. It is to help carry the other’s burdens. Love is not an emotion; love is an act of the will. Paul is not calling for the early Christians to feel warmly toward one another, but to act according to their calling. They are to do love by serving one another. Love is neither theoretical nor abstract, but is the glue of community; it is what knits the body together.”[i]

Bearing with one another in love is bringing bagged lunches to the Westminster parking lot every Tuesday morning to help feed hungry seniors in Marin City, or buying diapers for families served by the Canal Alliance in San Rafael.  Bearing with one another in love is one of our Westminster members urging our Wednesday morning class this past week to reach out to another member who has been struggling. 

I could give endless examples from this Westminster community of how you bear with one another in love. And … it can still be such a struggle.  So many of you have told me that you find it very difficult to have a civil conversation with a friend or family member who is on the other side of the political aisle from you.  Or how you can’t read the news without getting frustrated, anxious, or upset by the words or actions of someone with whom you disagree.  Why?  Why is it so hard?

Paul has something to say about that – “We must no longer be children, tossed to and fro and blown about by every wind of doctrine, by people’s trickery, by their craftiness in deceitful scheming.”

It is hard to bear with one another in love because sometimes people are difficult.  We have to deal with trickery, with craftiness, with deceitful scheming.  People are complex and complicated beings.  I love the Peanuts cartoon of Charlie Brown lying in bed with Snoopy telling him, “I’m staying in bed Snoopy.  It’s too peopley out there.” I get it, Charlie Brown, I sometimes feel that way too.

But, says Paul, we can and should be better.  We must no longer be children, tossed to and fro and blown about.  How do we do this?  “Speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by every ligament with which it is equipped, as each part is working properly, promotes the body’s growth in building itself up in love.”

Grow up! says Paul. Now, remember, this is a letter of support to a struggling community, so I don’t think he is saying this in a condescending or dismissive way – “Oh, grow up you loser!”  No, he is encouraging the people to grow in their faith. To grow together as a community. To grow as the body of Christ.  To grow in love.  Grow up, Paul is saying, in order to have a firm foundation of faith that can withstand the craftiness and deceitful scheming of others.

Let’s talk for a moment about that phrase, “speaking the truth in love.” Too often, this becomes an excuse for abusive or hurtful speech used to put down another.  “I’m just speaking the truth in love,” one might say to absolve one’s self after a particularly harsh statement, when in fact love is nowhere to be found.  I lived in the south for a few years, and I was fascinated by the phrase, “Bless your heart!”  It sounds nice, right?  Oh, no. I once heard someone explain that “Bless your heart” should actually be interpreted as, “Oh you poor thing, you don’t realize how idiotically wrong you are, but I’ll be glad to set you straight.”[ii]It is not a blessing at all.  There is no love involved.

The opposite extreme can also be problematic in building community.  This would be a type of love that focuses only on warm and fuzzy feelings – on rainbows and unicorns. A love that never can broach or tolerate a hard and necessary truth. Neither truth without love or love without truth is helpful if we are building strong, faithful relationships.

The great theologian William Sloane Coffin served for many years as the chaplain at Yale University. He remembers a freshman once asking if he could give Coffin some advice.  “Sir, when you say something that is both true and painful, say it softly.” Coffin adds to that, “Say it in words to heal and not to hurt. Say it in love.”[iii]  I would add, say it in a way focused on building up the community and focused on growing up in our faith together.  RuthE., our now retired music director, wrote a chant last year with the lyrics, “Speak the truth in love, that your words may give grace to those who hear.”  May our words always give grace.

Speaking of music, the anthem today is titled, “One Voice.” It starts with one voice singing alone. It’s nice, if a little plain.  Perhaps a little lonely.  Then another voice joins – this is the sound of two voices. With two voices, we can help each other make it through. Then another voice joins – this is the sound of three voices. Now we’re singing together in harmony and “singing with love and the will to trust.”  I love that line – we can both speak and sing the truth in love. The song ends with all three voices continuing to sing together, but the lyrics change.  Rather than the sound of “voices three,” the voices sing, “this is the sound of one voice.”  Three people singing as one voice.  Not as the same voice – there is still beautiful three-part harmony – but united as one voice. 

“There is one body and one Spirit,” says Paul.  Not the same – how boring that would be if we were all the same – but one.  Paul is actually very clear that we are not the same and that our differences are to be uplifted and celebrated.  He writes, “The gifts Christ gave were that some would be apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, some pastors and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, until all of us come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to maturity, to the measure of the full stature of Christ.”

We all have different gifts and talents. We all have different skills and passions.  But, rather than tearing us apart, they are meant to bring us together.  Each one of us provides something essential to the community so that we are better together than apart.  We grow up when we trust and value and explore our differences – allowing them to unify rather than divide.  We grow up when we use our different gifts to build the body together.  When we sing as one voice in harmony, each gifting our different notes and rhythms to the whole and appreciating the gifts that others bring.

At a lunch a couple of weeks ago, one of our church members talked about recently getting into the art of mosaic making. I find this such a beautiful art form. You start with small pieces, each of which is beautiful and unique on its own. And then those pieces come together to form something even more beautiful.  Each piece is important.  The finished product would not be the same without each piece. The other thing I notice is the patience making this type of art takes!  Each individual piece needs to be hand placed. This art doesn’t come quickly or easily.  It takes time, persistence, patience. 

When you arrived this morning, you each should have received a mosaic tile.  As you hold it in your hand, I invite you to consider the growing up you would like to do.  Are you perhaps needing to grow in humility or gentleness? In patience? In bearing with another in love? In the unity of the Spirit? In the bond of peace?  We all have growing up to do. 

Let’s return to those soldiers who buried their friend outside the graveyard fence. When the war finally ended, before the soldiers returned home, they decided to visit the gravesite of their friend. They thought they remembered the location of the grave, but when they arrived at the church and searched for the grave, they couldn’t find it. Finally, they went to the priest to ask about its location.

“Sir, we cannot find our friend’s grave,” said the soldiers to the priest.

“Well,” answered the priest. “After you buried your fallen friend, it just didn’t seem right to me that he should be buried there, outside the fence.”

“So you moved his grave?” asked the soldiers.

“No,” said the priest. “I moved the fence.”[iv]

May we continue to grow up, both individually and as a community. Together may we move the fence, so that more and more are included and our differences no longer divide.  Then one day, may there no longer be a fence as we live together in the unity of the Spirit.  It takes work.  It takes persistence.  It takes growing up.  As you take your mosaic tile home with you, may it serve as a reminder of the growing that we will do always, together. Amen. 

 

[i]Feasting on the Word, Year B, Vol. 3, pg. 306

[ii]https://www.workingpreacher.org/commentaries/revised-common-lectionary/ordinary-18-2/commentary-on-ephesians-41-16-4

[iii]Credo, by William Sloane Coffin, pg. 152.

[iv]https://youthays.wordpress.com/a-z-illustration/inside-the-fence/