The Psalmist wrote, "As a deer longs for flowing streams, so my soul longs for you, O God, My soul thirsts for God, for the living God." Our neighbor, author, Anne Lamott, puts it in more contemporary terms. Each morning she beings her day by praying to God, "Thank you, thank you, thank you. Help me, help me, help me!" We each have our own way to speak and to listen in prayer. It is said that there is a God-shaped hole is each of us waiting and longing to be filled up. We feel it when we experience loneliness deep inside of ourselves though people surround us every day. We know it when we yearn to understand our reason for being, our meaning and purpose in life though by outward appearances we have everything we need. We may try to fill that hole with other things but nothing seems to fit – other people that we try to please or to emulate, lengthy "to-do" lists that we try to fulfill, or efforts to accumulate possessions, reputation or titles. Still that emptiness is there, an ache that seldom seems satisfied no matter what we do. It is hard for us, especially in Marin, a county of high salaries, high-powered careers and advanced degrees, to pause, even for a short moment each day and quietly listen for God, to welcome God into our being. It would be wasting time, wouldn’t it? Interest rates could change in that moment, stocks could rise or fall, someone who needs us might call and we would miss that opportunity to respond if we were wasting time with God.

Today is the third in a series of sermons based on a book by Richard Foster called Streams of Living Water. In the sermons and the class following at 11:15, we are exploring traditions of the Christian faith, spirituality rooted in the Biblical traditions, the streams of faith with Jesus Christ as the source. A French term used to describe it is ressourcement which means coming back to the headwaters, dipping deeply and coming forth refreshed. Today we explore the "prayer-filled life" known as the contemplative tradition.

In the recent best-selling book by Mark Saltzman titled Lying awake, the author submerges the reader in the life of Sister John of the Cross who lives in a Carmelite monastery near Pasadena. The silent cloistered life is one hard for us to imagine yet through Saltzman’s novel in which Sister John has almost no external existence we are given a glimpse of her prayer life. As she questions the purpose and meaning behind the poetic gifts she has discovered within herself, the reader is encouraged to wrestle with the purpose of prayer outside of those cloistered walls. In a chapter entitled, "The Twelfth Sunday of Ordinary Time," Saltzman writes, "Desert poppies opened toward the sun. A glimmer just outside the scriptorium window caught Sister John’s attention. A dewdrop caught in a spider’s web flashed like a prism." She wrote, "We hang suspended in God’s love. Ink glistened on paper, following the tip of her pen, then sank flat." She wrote again, "When one heart moves, the whole web trembles."¹ The contemplative tradition invites us to consciously allow for times in our day when we open ourselves to God’s love, when we block out all distractions and let our inmost self be suspended in that love allowing it to wash over us like a stream of water renewing and refreshing.

Even Jesus had trouble doing it, finding time to get away and to waste time with God. His was a life of action and as Christians we often find ourselves trying to model that aspect of his life because we know we should. We hope to have something to show for our time and a value to assign to the things that we do. Jesus fed people, healed people, forgave and comforted people but he also needed time away from people to refresh and renew. He also needed time to pray, to consciously open himself to God without any distractions but he found it hard to do while still being a person "in" the world. In Matthew we read, "Jesus withdrew by boat to a lonely place where he could be by himself but the crowds heard of this and went after him on foot."² In Mark we are told that, "Long before dawn, Jesus got up and left the house and went off to a lonely place and prayed there. Simon and his companions set out in search of him and when they found him they said, ‘Everybody is looking for you.’"³ So, if Jesus had trouble finding time to be solely with God, how can we expect to be able to do it ourselves? Yet, if we do not, we run the very real risk of becoming whirling dervishes of meaningless activity thinking if we just keep working, we alone will be able to heal the world and we will be heroes ourselves. Without returning to God frequently and repeatedly as our source, we run the risk of beginning to worship our actions rather than worshipping God.

Most of us have discovered that we can’t have relationships with spouses or children or friends without making time for them. It is not any different with God. Without it, our well runs dry. We are invited to be nourished in a life-giving intimate friendship with the Divine Spirit, one where we are not judged on how many meals we have prepared for hungry people or how big of a check we have written to charity. We are loved just as we are no matter how often we interrupt or pester God. As a child, I knew an older woman who told me that she spoke to God constantly, all day long, no matter what she was doing. I couldn’t understand what that was like until I had some experience with life and a few gray hairs of my own. Now I think back on the wisdom I might have gained from her if I had the courage to ask her more questions. In intimate, on-going relationships, we can just pick up the conversation wherever we left off the last time. There is a trust, a familiarity that nurtures our souls, helps us feel acknowledged and understood. It is the kind of relationship that Jesus knew when he called to God saying "Abba" "Daddy" and that God offers to us. Elijah knew it, too, not in the distractions, not in the television news or the job or the bills or the wind or the earthquake or the fire but in the still small voice of God calling out to him to be in relationship.

Erwin, what does a Pray-filled life mean to you?

The greatest commandment, according to Jesus is "You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind." (Matthew 22:34-40) To me this is a foundational statement for the Contemplative Tradition. And in this sense the Contemplative Tradition is a foundational Tradition. To me it says: Start with intimacy with God, and then all spiritual growth and all spirit-inspired actions are possible.

In defining the Contemplative Tradition Foster says: "Put simply, the contemplative life is the steady gaze of the soul upon the God who loves us." Words and phrases Foster uses to describe this tradition are:

Love; deepening love for God, Peace; a peace that passes understanding, Delight, Wisdom, Transformation, Tolerance, Humble of soul, Beautiful of soul

Speaking for myself, certainly this quest for a closer relationship with God through prayer and its incumbent qualities as I have just described them, has been very illusive. Oh sure I pray, just as I am sure all of you do. And I try to be humble and tolerant, and things like that. But "beautiful of soul", transforming "delight"? Hardly. I seem to fall short on those aspects.

Maybe it’s just that I am too busy. I’m more like Martha, busy with the dishes, than Mary, attentive to Jesus’ teachings. Foster’s book talks about Jesus and Abba Antony (The 4th century Egyptian St. Antony, to our Catholic brethren) who both fasted in solitude for many days, saw visions and wrestled with the demons. I have somehow convinced myself that I can’t go away alone – I have too many responsibilities to work, home, family. Maybe one day I will.

In the meantime, I had a glimpse of this, as Foster calls it, "enveloping, comforting love" (pg. 49.) It happened over a year ago when my older daughter Sibyl was three and a half. Sibyl and I were eating dinner together while my wife Kathy was off feeding the baby, Milagros. We were goofing around. I remember both of us laughing a lot. I love to kid around with my kids. (I guess that’s why "kid" is both a noun and a verb.) But anyway, I really don’t remember what we were doing. I just remember that at one point Sibyl accidentally upended her plate and all of her food went flying across the room onto the floor. Not one spec of food had escaped. It happened so quickly that she immediately looked at me and wondered if now the fun would be over. The look on her face was of worry that I would scold or change from being fun. Well I just slowly got up, and then I picked up her food and told her "Don’t worry honey, I’ll get you something else to eat." I never said a negative thing. Now here’s the best part and probably why my generally forgetful brain has still not forgotten this event. Sibyl looked at me and said very calmly, "I love you Daddy." <pause> I knew at that moment that we both felt what I can now describe having ready Foster’s book as an enveloping love. A bit of delight, wisdom, tolerance, peace, and love. We wallowed in it for the rest of the meal. And just had the best time.

"Jesus loves me, this I know" the old spiritual goes. Through prayer we may feel this love and reciprocate as guided by the greatest commandment. Perhaps you and I can take the glimpses that we get of "enveloping love" and build on them through continued practice in prayer – through as Foster says "the steady gaze of the soul upon the God who loves us."

Barbara:

Let us take a few moments to waste some time with God. I invite you to open yourself up to that "enveloping love". Close our eyes if it would help and turn the gaze of your soul on God who reaches out to you, on God who loves you. Empty yourself of all distractions including my voice. Try not to say any words to God but merely open yourself to accept the pure love that God offers to you. God wants to be in relationship with you. Let us turn our gaze upon God who loves us.

Silence…..Closing prayer.
 
 

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* Teresa of Avila, "Prayer is an intimate sharing between friends."

Saltzman, Mark, Lying Awake, page 50
Matthew 14:13-14
Mark 1:35-36