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A good portion of pastoral care and counseling explores the nature of the Divine/human relationship. Does the person feel and accept the love and esteem of God? Is there a healthy sense of self? I've been thinking about the incredible scarcity of places in which we are intrinsically valued — esteemed, regarded, even loved for who we are, just as we are. In this consumer society there is a pervasive and disturbing message that who we are is deficient, that what we have is not enough, but if we use a certain product, or think or act in a particular way we would be better, perhaps farther along the road to perfection — but still not quite there.
I hear from some students who feel that their worth is mostly determined by their grade point average, extra curricular activities, and admission letters from the best high school or the finest Ivy League university. The things that are changing their lives, informing their thinking, or guiding their values have almost no outside validation.
Last week, mistakenly thinking I was going to a good mystery movie, I saw "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind," based on the autobiography of Chuck Barris' alleged life. It might have been better titled, Confessions of a Deranged Mind. I admit that I never watched his Gong Show and only a few episodes of the T.V. game shows he concocted over the past 30 years. What turned me off then, as this movie turns me off today, is that both relied on embarrassing or humiliating the participants, thereby demeaning the audience as well.
There is another level at which people devalue themselves with a bizarre measure of cultural support. Curiosity, gossip, and the publicity blitz recently led me to channel surf a variety of the so-called "reality" television shows. I was amazed at the easy self-degradation, humiliation proudly played to gales of laughter, and demeaning behaviors roundly applauded.
If they really did have to choose, I thought that Trista was right (whatever that means) to choose Ryan, and I was relieved (whatever that's worth) that Joe picked Zora, but really, their mothers should not have allowed them to play on those slides! The most unredeemable program auditioned people who thought they were "hot stuff" and the worst player was the greasy guy who liberally deployed his lascivious laser pointer as he judged their body parts.
Juxtaposed with these troubling cultural trends is Jeremiah's resounding message: God told me to tell you, "I will love you with an everlasting love." Do you believe that God's love for you, personally, not abstractly or communally, is personal, eternal, and unconditional?
Do you believe that God could really love someone like yourself? Do think, "God probably ‘likes me' but ‘loves me' ---- that's a bit of a stretch — particularly if God really knew me, or what I thought, or had done"?
How does it make you feel to hear the Bible say that God "loves you with an everlasting love" and knows you through and through? Listen to the Psalm again, "O Lord, you search me and you know me, you know my resting and my rising…you discern my purpose from afar…all my ways lie open to you…. Before ever a word is on my tongue you know it."
Spiritual people know God's esteem for them, how God cares for them, and thinks of them. To be held in this way is to be transformed, to have dignity, purpose, and meaning:
The experience of being unconditionally esteemed and loved by Christ empowers us to use our gifts, and to feel that our lives have value and meaning. In that spiritual ecology we learn to love and esteem ourselves. When we know Christ's love, and we respect ourselves, we are profoundly more able to hold others in love and esteem.
Christ invites us into a relationship that is an intimate friendship — not a hierarchical, master/slave relationship but an abiding friendship. The world, the economies, and most institutions do not value intrinsic being; they tell us that we are not quite enough. The choice is ours, accept Christ's invitation to an abiding, transforming friendship, or spend our lives trying to measure up to constantly shifting and unreachable societal expectations. For the sake of your spirit and being, your openness and your journey, I invite you to cast your lot with the Roman Catholic pop-artist, Sister Corita, whose 1960's poster read, "Don't Be Little Yourself, Be BIG yourself."