What do we do with guilt? What ritual frees you from its burden? For 21 centuries the church has focused on guilt, with grace played in a minor key; little wonder why many believers have trouble reflecting joy and confidence in their lives.

The story is so very human. I once spent several months with a fellow who was struggling with guilt and who despaired of having God’s grace because he felt he could not live up to the expectations of his family and his definition of masculinity. I argued for grace over guilt, freedom over bondage, and that both judgment and grace are solely the work of God. Still, he mastered the art of being his own divine judge, jury, and gatekeeper at the portal to hell.

He pondered the Robertson Davies quote on the bulletin cover and always had a "yes, but…" We studied Psalm 32, "When I did not confess my sins, I was worn out from crying all day long…my strength was drained, as moisture is dried up by the summer heat" (vs. 3,4). He was in those lines, but rejected God’s assurance of grace that followed in the next line: "Then I confessed my sins to [God]; I did not conceal my wrongdoings… and [God] forgave all my sins" (vs. 5). Not surprisingly, I fared no better with Christ’s teachings on grace.

I offered him a stiff dose of the Protestant theologian Paul Tillich, where he wrote of guilt and grace, " You are accepted. You are accepted, accepted by that which is greater than you…. Do not try to do anything now…. Do not seek for anything; do not perform anything; do not intend anything. Simply accept the fact that you are accepted! If that happens to us, we experience grace…. In that moment, grace conquers sin, and reconciliation bridges the gulf of estrangement. And nothing is demanded of this experience, no religious or moral or intellectual presupposition, nothing but acceptance."

He responded: "That’s too easy! My guilt demands a price." Curiously, those who most long to experience grace often have the most trouble accepting it and place in its path the largest obstacles. They show their doubt by holding guilt as if God’s absolution was incomplete or qualified. Too often people are accustomed not to trust that God’s grace wipes away guilt and frees them to live into the image of Christ.

For generations, the church’s arguably unfaithful view of sin enabled its leaders to be the arbiters of God’s will and judgment, in effect trespassing the exclusively divine role and doing God’s work for God. Jesus consistently refused to judge people or be the vehicle for their guilt. The oft-ignored verse that modifies John 3:16 makes it clear, "For God did not send God’s Son into the world to be its judge, but to be its savior" (vs. 17).

‘Guilt’ and ‘grace’ are potent words not commonly used, but certainly part of the reality of being human. We know guilt and grace well when we look with searching hearts at the rough edges of our lives.

It is difficult for anyone to escape self-recrimination laid upon him or her by the judgment or assumed judgment of other people or society. There are always people who want to control our lives and feelings. You know who they are -- they criticize conduct and instill shame, intent on producing guilt and conformity.

On the other hand, we may safely welcome the concerns of those who seek our well-being and wholeness because they have our best interests at heart. We do not, however, allow ourselves to be judged by others, just as we refuse to pass judgment on others. As Christians we strive to be self-aware enough to know when we speak or act in ways that separate us from God, from others, from our true self, and cause us to experience guilt. This self-awareness is the antidote for the imposed judgment and expectations of others.

The flip side of the judgment/self-judgment equation is the courage from Christ to recognize and face the source of our guilt. Facing real guilt, Christ gives us the added courage to exercise moral and spiritual integrity by taking responsibility for our conduct and our response to its guilt. We respond to such conduct by ending the behavior that produces a guilty conscience. It is so simple: if it makes you feel guilty, just stop doing whatever ‘it’ is!

We may then respond to the accumulated guilt by accepting the unconditional grace of God that removes the burden of guilt. Grace transforms everything by building a bridge from shame to change, and estrangement from God to reunion and new life. Our work is to fully accept God’s grace, to accept the truth that God accepts us and offers us inner peace.

How shall we trust the assurance of pardon that is the end of guilt? What rituals set us free of these burdens? The Hindus bathe in the Ganges to wash away guilt. Votive candles and gilding of religious statues absolve certain believers. Some religions demand personal sacrifices, others expect grueling pilgrimages with sackcloth and ash, while in some traditions people exchange cash for pardons.

I want to offer us a ritual of release from guilt in which we come to the front of the sanctuary, now or at the end of the service. Conscious of something in life that is burdening you with guilt, stand silently in mindfulness, then place a mixture of anointing oil and water from the Jordan River on your forehead, and pray, "Christ, I accept your grace, may your peace be with me." Leave the burden of guilt at the in the chancel, turn aside and drown its source with oil and water, and be free. "May grace more abound within us!"